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Reflecting on a Tragedy in my City


Last Saturday morning,  two sets of parents said goodbye to their beloved children.  One of them headed off to dance practice at Mission Hills High School. The other, was likely attending baseball practice at that same school.    At approximately 11:00 a.m. these same two sets of parents received the worst news they will ever receive.  For one parent, it was the news that their beautiful daughter, Lauren, had been struck by a car while walking on the sidewalk. She died on the scene. She had been walking back to the school after heading to 7-11 for a quick snack during a break in dance practice.  For the other parent, it was the news that their son had been involved in a car accident--an accident resulting in a fatality.   Lauren was a senior, just weeks away from graduation. She has a twin sister.   The driver,  a sixteen-year-old and baseball player  at that same school.  Since hearing this news, I have been experienced such an overwhelming sense of sadness and fear.  I imagine these parents' knees giving way and  then crumpling to the floor upon receiving this news.  I imagine from that moment on, their lives will never be the same.
I look at pictures of Lauren, the promise her life held, and wonder when her loved ones will be able to smile again. I think of her twin sister.  

Yet, I also think of the driver and his parents.  Some say he was speeding, perhaps racing with another car. This is all rumor at this point.  My heart breaks for this boy,  I have been teaching kids for 26 years-long enough to know that they sometimes make dumb decisions.  Years ago, one of my students thought it would be funny to pull a chair out from under a girl.  She broke her tailbone. They do not always think about the consequences of their actions. Most of the time their dumb decisions do not result in broken tailbones and certainly not death. Then I remember a phone call I received from my own son almost four years ago when he first got his license.

I was heading off to my youngest son's baseball game when I received a phone call from my oldest son.  My heart immediately began to pound. You see, kids don't call, they text (at least that is what mine do).  I answered the call and on the other end was my son's shaky, sob ridden voice.  I could barely make out what he was saying, but the bottom line was that he had crashed his car into a curb. He wanted his mom.  I was able to get it out of him that nobody was hurt.  Of course, I immediately dropped everything and raced to his location just a few miles away.  He had driven the car about a half mile away from the scene. It was parked on the side of the road with a VERY flat tire.  He had hit a curb.  He was pretty shaken up.  We called to have the flat fixed.  Once it was fixed, I handed him the keys and told him I'd see him at home later. He shook his head and said, "I don't want to drive."  We decided to leave the car there and run some errands together. I asked him to point out where the accident had occurred. Just as he pointed his finger to say "there" a man on a bike road by. We both began to sob.  Things could have ended so differently.   

Social media has brought out numerous comments from the public regarding this tragedy.  Apparently, I am in the minority when it comes to also grieving for the driver.

Some comments on Facebook:

"By law, the idiot has to be charged with second degree murder, because they killed someone while in the commission of committing a crime... Hopefully the CHILD who hit this poor girl is under the age of 18 so daddy gets to be the one who is ultimately responsible....say goodbye to that nice house on the hill and that high salaried job and that retirement 401K. All will be seized and all assets frozen." (Yes, this is how it was written)

This poster is assuming that the parents are wealthy and wishing ill will on the PARENTS. They also refer to a sixteen-year old as an idiot. That's helpful.

"Sorry, no pity for the driver. He SHOULD feel bad...Hopefully the family will get the justice they deserve."

What would justice look like? Life in prison? The death penalty?  Trust me, this child has already received his punishment. It is one that will last a lifetime.

Lauren could have been anyone's child, innocently walking on the sidewalk on her way back to practice.  The driver could have been anyone's child, checking a text, changing a radio station, or "speeding" down the street.  Of course, none of these posters has ever sped or been distracted while driving!  They apparently were perfect teenagers who never made a bad decision.  This is amazing because I have never met such a teenager in my entire life.

My middle son got his license on Thursday. He is seventeen. I haven't let him drive yet.  He asked if he could drive to school today, and I said no. I said, "I'm not ready yet."  I don't know when I will be.












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